Mending the gaps
Throughout my life, my heart has endured relentless shattering, one painful blow after another. The chilling presence of a father whose cruelty seemed to cast a perpetual shadow, followed by a young marriage to another man who mirrored that same cold and vicious demeanor. After parting ways from that tumultuous union, I made a solemn vow to never trust again.
The fragments of my shattered heart left gaping voids, leaving me to question the authenticity of love itself. Even today, the belief in its genuineness remains a struggle. Everyone I’ve dared to love has inflicted wounds upon me—except my children, who I hold as the sole bearers of genuine affection. The mere act of opening my heart again fills me with an overwhelming fear of further damage. At this fragile juncture in my life, if the man I love serves as the adhesive, piecing together the fragments of my being. As you read my story, I implore you to handle my heart with care, for there are no more spaces left to be taken away.
For those existing within my world, familiarity with my immense heart and willingness to offer unconditional support is a given. Yet, I stand at a threshold where I can no longer endure more harm. I wear the label of a fragile woman, adorned with numerous heartaches from my past. My aspiration is for the mending mortar, slowly being applied to my fragile heart, to pave a path towards a brighter existence.
In my vulnerability within these words, I aim to offer solace to others who’ve endured similar ordeals. I’m cognizant that my shattered heart is not an isolated experience. This narrative extends beyond gender—it’s a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. I open myself in these writings to illustrate the acceptance that it’s permissible to allow someone to mend the cracks in your foundation.
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