Learning to love:
For most, we start with love from the outside and work our way in. Not me; I have always been an oddity among the female race. I like to see the interior, as it is my belief that true beauty begins there.
Many times, being chased and pursued by men with great physical stature, I had seen the world as not having a fit for me when it came to men. You see, the most attractive feature in the world to me is intelligence and the ability to accept your own vulnerability. I had dated men for very short periods of time who had looks, money, talents, but lacked the intelligence to compete with how my mind works. There was no one to help me build a file cabinet inside my head and keep my unruly thoughts organized.
Then came a fateful day where I stumbled upon a man whom I only met through a voice or a text. I was not looking for anyone, seeing myself as eternally single. But this man stole my mind; he began to build a filing cabinet within my mind. With every conversation, the pains of depression were leaving me, and my thoughts were being organized. It dawned on me that I had met my match! His mind was magical to me; the way he spoke softly and the texture in his voice enthralled me. His physical presence was pleasing to my eyes as well—the long, dark hair, an olive complexion, and eyes that are like deep dark sapphires. How could this be! Is he the one for me, I often thought to myself. His brilliance and complete way of being a man were so impressive that I couldn’t fathom how I could even imagine he would want someone such as myself.
Yet here I was on a video call with this amazing man, and with every word from his mouth, I was tripping over myself. He spoke to me like no one before! He was just as left of center as myself if not all the way around and back. Endless hours talking on things most would not even comprehend, nor want to speak on. I was falling deeply in love with someone I had never even felt the physical presence of.
Then came the time to actually sit down in person and talk. The first touch was cosmic; it was like the void that had filled my life was now filled, and when he spoke the first word, my heart leaped and pounded out of my chest. His eyes looked like he could reach to the depths of my soul and somehow save me from anything that would try to harm me. I never wanted to leave his side ever again. He was the one that was intended for me, and I was intended for him, and we both knew it.
Our short few days together had to come to an end, and driving away from him felt as if I was dying, and each day after it had felt the same. I now know I cannot go without him, and he is the energy that completes me and makes me whole. I would be completely lost without him. He keeps my mind peaked, my heart filled, and my very person connected to a world that I find cold and corrupt. Every passing day, I live in the blessing that this man loves me, and I am forever grateful that I am one of the lucky ones to find my one and only true soul mate.
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