Gray
It’s a brisk morning and I am laying here deep in thought. Running play by play of some of life’s moments through my mind. Funny how life repeats itself over and over again. Some destine for a fairytale life filled with success, happiness, great people and wealth, while others are destine for a constant battle, struggle and sorrow. Few will live in the gray zone, the perfect balance of both, they are the majority
As I go over childhood, then skip decade by decade in my life, I find myself standing in this gray zone. I wonder what if I decided to take my toe and dip in the other sides for just a moment, would it change my stars? Could I be a better version of me and stand with those in the fairytale, or let go and stand in the sorrow.
One particular memory hits me from childhood, a time of my teenage years when I had to make a a crucial choice between friendship and the right thing to do. In that time I stood on the wrong side and chose my friendship over the obvious right thing to do. Had I laid my friendship to the side, could that once choice had changed my stars and put me in the fairytale pond verse the gray? Could it be just one simple choice can change our stars?
Fast forward now to my 30’s and my mind is all business and mindset is all about choices that will change my stars. I make the choice that making the almighty dollar is the target, but in making this choice am I changing my stars for the better or the worse. The consequence and benefits of this choice are so clear in my mind now. Make more money and have the things my family desire and all needs met, but give up time with my young children. The balance of making money or quality time are very difficult to achieve. That choice itself would offset the stars of my children and their relationship with me. Did I make a mistake thinking money was of importance in that time?
Now step even further ahead of modern times, my health has taken a turn and I am no longer capable of 40+ hours a week, money is sparse and as I look back over all these choices there is much regret but no redos. So in this modern time I will take what choices I have left and put value into what truly matters! It is not money or success but the love of family and friends. The quality time given to them far more important than any money could ever buy. My moral compass is higher than ever in life. One has to wonder how much different life would be if only this would be seen before we have grown old and made choices that started from here. One of life’s cruel fates to show us as we draw closer to the end of our story.
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